Even now, the world is changing.

Even now, the world is changing.
I still don't have a job. I have another ineterview tomorrow. good luck to me. I need a new job badly. My bills are staking up )tee hee) and my money is going fast-ly. I have about $100 to pay about $800 worth of bills. If someone would buy my car, that would help. But in tru Piscean fashion, I have not re-posted it on craigslist since I've come home Sunday night. I'll do it tonight. I am not sure how I am going to pay my rent, but I'm sure something will come up. Not working for two weeks has been a vacation. Well, going to Estrella actually was a vacation. I am doing laundry today ( like 10 loads) at a friend's house. Tomorrow I am cleaning the apartment after my interview. Scrub-a-dub, apartment!
The kitten situation is okay, I guess. Kitty has accepted the little brats, i guess. one of the kittenz has ADHD, but they don't seem to mind being put in their own bedroom at night as long as they are together.
Strangely enough I have not been talking to myself as much since I've quit my job. Since it is an outlet for depression, when I have it, it's not a suprise that the little game has diminished. It still occurs when i'm bored. But it's just been repeats of the same things.
Avery meets Adam, Avery Finds the watch, Avery goes to Italy. She was and then she wan't in a mental institution. Although her name has changed. Avery doesn't seem to fit. I've Used Arwen a few times to go in with her parents being historians and her monther having an odd name of some sort herself. Juniper or something.
It is all fun and games until i acually have to do research. Anna (Avery's go-by name) Speaks & reads fluent Gaelic. But just having a godfather who did the smae isn't quite enough for me I think. I thought perhaps her attending private school in Ireland.. But, well i'm sure there are some there, but ones that teach Gaelic? And I haven't got a clue what private schools are like in modern day UK/Ireland. Not like the finishing schools of the turn of the century. but that's the general Idea. Well scratch that. It's not very hardcore being at a finishing school.
There's an idea for there bing some ancient prophecy of a girl (tee hee) who somehow fits Ana's description being able to drastically change something. Of course this leads me to make Adam a vampire or something and that he doesn't want to be any more and she can change that??
*sigh* It's a good start, but plot develepmont has never been my strong point. Climax, yes. how it got there??? no idea...

The Cannery Has No Cans

So much has gone on since I last was available to waste my hours away typing madly in a rush at a screen. Today is my last day at my current job. Nope, I haven't got another one. I'm flying by the seat of my dirty jeans. I am nervous but not really. I know that I am a weIner and finding a replacement job is no hassle. Now, finding an admin job that pays well like I want, well lets try that story later.
Actually I had my first real interview today. Yeeh.. Not gonna happen. Perfect job. Stupid me. I didn't bring a copy of my resume (who knew?) and I was late! HAHA! I wouldn't hire me if I were them. No worry, it's a learning experience right? Oh well. NEXT!!!

We got the kittens (yes plural) on Saturday. A boy and a girl. Whiney striped tabby I call Samwise and a black boisterous girl who we've yet to name. They are very energetic and Kitty and only seemed a little horrified at them.
She is so used to things how they are, the poor dear. My poor little snow leopard. Her eyes get all big and worried and frustrated when she watches the kittens. But this morning the little girl came up and sniffed her and she didn't run away, she just sniffed back. Maybe there is hope.
The minute I thought her life would suck as a result, I wouldn't never have got kittens.
They terrorize each other, the kittens. So they get tired out easier and don't chase Kitty. She has done a good job keeping them from out of "under the bed" Which is her domain. Actually the bedroom is her domain and has stayed that way so far. Good.
The kittens have the bathroom and the living room; Bedroom and on top of the Monitor is for Kitty.

Let's Not Shit Ourselves (title stolen from a Bright Eyes song)

I think the line goes, "Things are only bad when you compare them to things that are better." (paraphrased from a zen book)
and
" Pick something or someone you want to be and be it." none of this
"I'm not cool and "I wish I could do that..."
I have emo hair today. I wear ugly clothes and swagger. am I emo?
I put glue in my hair, my outfit is comprised of a torn skirt and another skirt with stuff pinned to it. does that make me punk? well actually it's goth industrial. and I'll stomp around you in my dirty boots. You don't have to not be educated to be a gangsta... but checkig out the gangstas.. you'd think only an 8th grade education was required.

One night after getting ready to go somewhere when I was about 19, I looked in my Wal-Mart full length mirror that was taped to the back of my bedroom door and I thought, "Who is that?"
I have done my hair like so, and was wearing my clothes, like I do..
BUt I didn't look like me. I looked like "one of those cool girls, that everyone likes..."
Case dismissed.

Forget breakfast, coffee is for lovers.

I didn't fall asleep until past midnight last night. Not that I was doing anything to keep me up late ;) Okay I was. I thought about it, and it had been almost a week and a half since I had sex.
I keep putting it off for fear of not getting enough sleep. I guess it is in my head that it will take forever. But it really doesnt. Especially when i've waited...
My boyfriend doesn't try to put the moves on me at night for this reason. he knows I'd like to get sleep. And even though I have never been interested in guys that hit on me first, I sit about and wait for him to start something. He can't read my mind, he can't tell that this Tuseday I'd like to shag, even though last Tuesday I didn't. It has been concering me. All the day dreaming, I feared I haven't been happy. With my bf, that is. But when I check him out, I realize that I actually do like him. Want him.. but for some reason just rolling over and kissing him and saying "fuck me" doesn't come too easily.
It came easy enough when I met him. 'Wow that guy's hot, I should hit on him and bang him the next night...' not exactly new for me at the time... but do I feel that the intrigue isn't there??
because it is, I just over look it, don't I?

Actually even after that, I couldn't sleep. I didn't even have caffine! except for my morning cup which is tradition, if you are a human being living and working in modern day America.
My mind kept running circles around me. i had songs stuck in my head that i don't even care about.
agaisnt my better judgement, i took some excedrin with sleeping meds in them. Usually at night I take my allergy meds plus my stomach meds, plus some asprin of somekind and those usually put me down. ahhhh. drugs.
but i didn't take any last night. so at 1130 i took Sleep Time Excedrin.
I fell asleep at some point, dreampt about being a tourish in A London that looked much more like the colourful Harrod's map, than the actual city. I took pictures of this couple (both guys and very metro0euro looking)
They thanked me, I wandered around the weather-less city. I woke up to my alarm, rather then the usual of Kitty meowing and scratching my face a half an hour before.

My teeth hurt. I had them whitened yesterday. Ow. I don't ever want to do that again. I need to use bleaching trays, and Rembrant toothpase. All this so i can fix my crown. At least my teeth aren't crooked. Sorry to all the crooked teeth people out there, but DAMN.
Even with half a tooth as a kid, I still had better teeth.

But let me tell you how gross Sensodine toothpaste is. It is liquidy, and slightly fruit flavored. Let me tell you how much it sucks to brush with Sensodine at my office where there is no hot water...
Them I much rinse with Renbrant whitening mouthwash. Which has hydrogen Peroxide in it. Yuck Have you ever put that in your mouth??My gums hurt and are now all foamy.


R2 the bitch cockatiel is back at the shop. Se animation below of cockatiel eating a human... that's R2. She is bigger now. but Just as demanding. I like the little bird. I am sad that her family can't take care of her. They are nice people. well it's just a mom and her two daughters. For some reason they are constantly homeless.
I like her daughters a lot. They remind me of me at their age. Their lives suck a great deal more than mine did. I can only imagine what internal struggles they have. And they can't even hant their pet bird with them because they are in a shelter.